Tags
Buddhism, Christianity, compassion, despair, desperation, emotion, empathy, homeless, kindness, love, philosophy
.
.
i’m sitting on the sidewalk
as a woman, huddled in a blanket,
a patterned do-rag on her head,
sobs on my shoulder.
i put my arm around her
and say, “it’s okay.”
knowing that nothing is okay,
it will never be okay.
i’m beyond my depth.
i don’t know what to do,
or what to say…
anything that comes to mind
is shallow and meaningless.
this woman’s experiences
are completely foreign to me.
what do I know —
about alcoholism?
about motorcycle gangs?
about sleeping on the streets?
all i can do is let her cry,
tell her that she has forgiveness,
that what saddens her,
what keeps her awake,
or gives her nightmares,
is all in the past.
it’s time to forgive herself
and love herself
and live
in the present moment.
she can’t go on.
she can’t stand the pain.
she can’t do this any more.
drink is the only thing
that numbs her mind;
enough to endure,
enough to pass out at night
and do it all over again
the next day.
i can only do
and say so much.
it’s always a pleasant surprise
to see her sitting on the sidewalk,
knowing that she’s made it
through another night;
that she hasn’t been taken
by violence, sickness
or the police.
i do what i can.
.
smuchendu said:
Reblogged this on Simon Muchendu’s Blog and commented:
This touched my heart…
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dcardiff said:
Hi Oliana, you are too kind. I truly enjoy the time I spend with my homeless friends. I intend to keep writing about these conversations as long as there are readers who read them.
Namaste,
Dennis
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Tracesofthesoul said:
You do what you can? Oh my how you do so much more than you know! You give your heart, your ear and your time. People know when someone “gets it” and when someone is “real” and cares. You are all those things which is so much. Bless you for all that you do do and keeping us aware and in touch with real people. Namaste
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ShelbyCourtland said:
Oh and thanks for liking my poem, “That Brazen Hussy!” I am just SO ‘brazen’!
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dcardiff said:
I know, you’re actually not so ‘brazen’. You’re actually quite shy. ~ Dennis
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ShelbyCourtland said:
LOL! Love your sense of humor!!!! Never lose it!!!
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btg5885 said:
Dennis, you capture people in need very well. You make me ache with them, which is your empathetic gift with words. You aslo are making them feel human. So, mamy of us cast our eyes away and the people in need see this. So, when you treat them like a human being, it makes a huge difference. Well done on both counts. BTG
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dcardiff said:
Thanks, as always, for your kind words. They mean much to me since I know that you volunteer with an agency that helps homeless families. You know the torture they go through and the desperation they feel. ~ Dennis
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ShelbyCourtland said:
Dennis, what can I say? Thank you for bringing the plight of the homeless out of the realm of oblivion where many wish those who are homeless, sick and suffering would remain. You have no idea what it means to me as each day, I look to see that those whom you’ve brought into my heart by telling their stories, are still alive.
Again, I thank you! I love them one and all!
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dcardiff said:
Hi Shelby, your encouragement means so much to me. I reblogged your post, “Throwing In The Towel”. I often feel that way, but I am drawn to these friends, Whether I can help or not, they know I care. Three have died this past year, sometimes the conversation drifts to who will be next. ~ Dennis
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ShelbyCourtland said:
Oh Dennis, tears are in my eyes. I am So very sorry to know that. The homeless are often quite ill and on the verge of death and then they are actually ‘sentenced’ to death when they are told that there is no funding for affordable housing or that they must wait to receive needed medical attention. Here in the states, some have died because the emergency room turned them away and they were locked up and died on a jail cell floor all because they were the unkempt homeless and therefore, who gives a shit? That is why they die because of this mindset, that there is NO one to care about them. Again, I thank you for caring.
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magreenlee said:
Powerful poem, Dennis. Well done for making me stop and think about what the homeless go through.
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dcardiff said:
Thanks so much for your kind words. ~ Dennis
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Jessica Slavin said:
Stunning. In your bracing refusal to turn away from the real world you find some real beauty, Dennis. Heartbreaking and heart opening.
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dcardiff said:
There is true beauty in the homeless, the vulnerable, the sick. All artifice is gone. The truth is often brutal. The choices are life and death. It is heartbreaking. ~ Dennis
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skywanderer said:
Reblogged this on Family Hurts Inc – Inquiry, News & Critique and commented:
These magnificent poems made me remember one of the defining moments of my awakening process. Several years ago, while sitting in a luxury car, dressed in my luxury outfit (then still in a job serving the establishment) I looked out of the window and noticed a beggar trying to pass through the thin passage left between the front of the car and a wall on the other side. He turned towards me … In his eyes I suddenly had a glimpse into all the pain and misery, not only of his own, but of many millions … Then I heard a scream deep within my soul; I heard a giant NOOOO to any world, any life and any system that allows this to happen. Then I only felt what I know now. Ever since I fully understand what’s going on in our cruel world, I believe that the poorest, the abandoned, the most unfortunate, those who are or are destined to be beggars are the real ‘top class’ of our societies; they are the ones who deserve our deepest respect, love and attention, as they are the most precious ones and those who said no to this immoral, corrupt society much earlier, and they are the ones whose stories really matter.
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dcardiff said:
Thanks so much. That is the same feeling I had when I met Joy and her friends. This was “one the defining moments of my awakening process.” I work in an office tower with five hundred other employees. I see them every day, but I never look deeply into their eyes, they are always wearing masks. Homeless people have no such masks. They can see as clearly into me as I can into them. Their problems are basic, enough to eat, enough heat, a place to sleep. I love and respect them dearly, if I didn’t they’d know. ~ Dennis
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skywanderer said:
It is you who deserve thanks Dennis, in fact a millions thanks, for your wonderful humanity and loving kindness. I could too sense it from your heart-felt poems how deeply you love them.
Please allow me a pragmatic question and do forgive me if it sounds off-topic (also, if it has been answered elsewhere) but it is also out of love for them that I ask this: I am wondering if these homeless people are receiving material help – other than the alms churches and individuals can provide – ie a substantial funds from the wealthiest private sphere.
As we all know by now, homelessness is a product of a so called total individual “freedom” and the consequent neoliberal forms of no-welfare capitalism. This odd interpretation of “freedom” has for decades been advocated by economists, politicians, business leaders and philosophers, along with the promise that once the top players of economy will be free from paying the taxes from which unemployment payments and other benefits could be publicly provided, the wealthiest class will use their freedom and increasing income to erase the poverty of the lower classes. They promised that once free from tax-obligations they will always provide enough jobs and upon their own free choice they will be willing to give away a much higher cut of their earnings to the poor than the amounts of benefits “robbed” from them by state-coercion.
And, as we know as well, at present most of these companies pay zero or next-to-zero corporate taxes, so I am wondering, how come the rich still allows such extreme poverty? Or are there any instances of privately distributed welfare-benefits that would provide the poor at least the basics: shelter and food? If not, are you aware of any social movements and/or fund raising to rightfully demand such private payments by corporations and other wealthy private sources?
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ShelbyCourtland said:
“I heard the scream deep within my soul;”
So did I dear Sky, so did I!
Bless you!
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dcardiff said:
Thanks, Shelby. I read your poem “That Brazen Hussy!”. Fantastic! You’ve left me tingling…all over ~ Dennis
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Mario Savioni said:
What I wanted to say was that I listened to a video tonight about the coming currency crisis predicted by an investment research firm, where the dollar is no longer the primary currency.
He said that mortgage crisis will be comparatively like a walk in the park.
I see this woman’s experiences and survival as a resume for the coming times if this researcher is correct.
At what point do we understand that she is a byproduct of the system? That she is not just an anomaly of circumstances beyond her control? We cannot predict the future and we assume that those on top are doing everything in their power to protect us.
In the end, we too may face the underlying theme, which is that someone else is simply doing what they can.
I don’t know that forgiveness is something she needs to concern herself with. We have to ask ourselves, as a country, what is most important. And, to me, it has something to do with creating an environment, where such a woman does not have to cry herself to sleep at night by the side of a road.
This should be the lowest common denominator, and yet my mother is in a nursing home and it makes me feel guilty. When I come to visit her, she is either eating or sleeping, and there is nothing in between. I see a deep depression in her if I press her. She lies in bed and pulls the food toward her and inevitably gets crumbs in the bed or spills something. My sister said that she is in a better place than if she came to live with us and merely sat there alone; besides, she wanders off because she has Alzheimer’s.
But, who is to say that this nursing home won’t close when the crisis hits and we are forced to live with each other? I don’t mind that, but I have a job that depends on people going out to eat and I don’t foresee that happening.
I don’t know what’s going to happen in the interim if the inevitable is true.
I see the tears of this woman as a precursor for what’s to come. And I cherish her tears for they are wisdom. They are an outpouring, a sign.
Please ask her why she believes she needs to be forgiven.
I believe she is just as innocent as you and me.
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dcardiff said:
Hi Mario, Thanks for the thoughtful comment about the world economy. I have heard dire predictions about what will happen when all the baby boomers are in need of old age care, pensions and medical treatment. In my opinion the governments of the world are all managed by wealthy people. They are not even aware of the interests of the poor. Even if they are aware, a person without an address is not a voter, therefore not important to their political campaign.
My wife works with Alzheimer’s patients. Each night I hear stories of their confusion and inability to communicate. This brings them great sadness and feelings of vulnerability.
As far as Joy is concerned she has committed crimes, fifteen years ago, that she still feels guilty about. She wasn’t charged. These haunt her dreams and nightmares. Being bipolar only accentuates the guilt and adds to her inability to sleep. I tell her, “The only moment you can make a difference is now.” Nothing in the past can ever be changed, so there is no point thinking about it. ~ Dennis
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Mario Savioni said:
I agree. Thank you.
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timthepoet said:
The lot of some people is heart breaking. At least you’ve done what you can. Nicely written poem.
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dcardiff said:
Thanks Tim! ~ Dennis
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jmlibby said:
Reblogged this on jmlibby and commented:
Utterly amazing
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dcardiff said:
thanks so much for reblogging my poem “i do what i can”. It is much appreciated. ~ Dennis
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jmlibby said:
my pleasure. your work is quite vivid and i enjoy it 🙂
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