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Dennis Cardiff

~ Poems & Prose

Dennis Cardiff

Tag Archives: psychology

borderlands

20 Monday Jan 2020

Posted by DennisCardiff in Poetry

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Buddhism, Christianity, compassion, destiny, free, homeless, imagination, love, philosophy, psychology, romance

chair


i live in the borderlands,
between reality and imagination,
just this side of fantasy.

 

reality is okay.
i visit there
to check my mail,
earn a few dollars,
pay some bills,
buy groceries.

 

reality is an okay place to visit
but, i wouldn’t want to live there.

 

i’m happiest in my mind
where I filter my thoughts
like an answering machine.
i delete the negative,
dwell on the positive.

 

people may see me walking alone.
they don’t see the beautiful woman
at my side
with her hand in mine.

 

i may be seen sitting at a table, alone.
nobody sees the delicate hand,
with the magic fingers,
sliding up my thigh.

 

or, the passionate kiss
being planted on my throat,
the fingers running through my hair.

 

where i work
people see me smile.
they think I enjoy my job.
they don’t know me.

…

Sample my books for free — To date, $1945.00 has been donated to the homeless:

Gotta Find a Home: Conversations with Street People
http://buff.ly/1SGzGCY ($2.99 Download)
http://buff.ly/1qLHptc ($.299 Download)
https://buff.ly/2lUfp6Q ($.99 Download)
https://buff.ly/2Gkoyxj ($2.99 Download)

They Call Me Red:
https://buff.ly/2GJSDsG ($.99 Download)

Podcasts:
http://buff.ly/1Pxlf9p
http://www.blunttalk.libsyn.com/
http://buff.ly/1XU368M
http://buff.ly/2iYvOE4
http://buff.ly/2jdjZd6

 

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desperation drive

11 Saturday Jan 2020

Posted by DennisCardiff in Song Lyrics

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

despair, destiny, dreams, lifetimes, loneliness, longing, lost love, nature, personal, philosophy, psychology

a015a738f9dec4461cb4effe9492b679

 

 

I’m just kicking stones, chasing loneliness — nothing much to do;
In my dusty hat and western boots — soles are worn clear through.
I’m leaving heartache, going nowhere fast, more dead than alive.
At daybreak, feet are pointing to, Desperation Drive.

When you’re down and out, in a hard-luck place, no stars shine at night;
I’ve been looking down, such a long, long time, just can’t see the light.
Haven’t got a cent, haven’t got a friend, no will to survive;
That’s the reason why, I’m heading for, Desperation Drive.

There was a woman — vowed she loved me, caught the midnight train;
She took my money, left my broken heart, drowning in the rain.
Got to leave this town, have to hitch a ride, out on highway five;
If they ask me where, I’m going I’ll say to, Desperation Drive.

I miss that woman, she’s still in mind, the breeze whispers her name;
She’s mean and evil, but my lonely heart, wants her just the same.
On the waterfront, I check the bars and every lowdown dive;
If she’s not there, I’ll find a place on, Desperation Drive.

…

 
 
 

Sample my books for free — To date, $1945.00 has been donated to the homeless:

 
 
 

Gotta Find a Home: Conversations with Street People
http://buff.ly/1SGzGCY ($2.99 Download)
http://buff.ly/1qLHptc ($.299 Download)
https://buff.ly/2lUfp6Q ($.99 Download)
https://buff.ly/2Gkoyxj ($2.99 Download)

 
 
 

They Call Me Red:
https://buff.ly/2GJSDsG ($2.96 Download)

 
 
 

Podcasts:
http://buff.ly/1Pxlf9p
http://www.blunttalk.libsyn.com/
http://buff.ly/1XU368M
http://buff.ly/2iYvOE4
http://buff.ly/2jdjZd6

 

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borderlands

15 Friday Nov 2019

Posted by DennisCardiff in Poetry

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Buddhism, Christianity, compassion, destiny, free, homeless, imagination, love, philosophy, psychology, romance

chair

i live in the borderlands,
between reality and imagination,
just this side of fantasy.

reality is okay.
i visit there
to check my mail,
earn a few dollars,
pay some bills,
buy groceries.

reality is an okay place to visit
but, i wouldn’t want to live there.

i’m happiest in my mind
where I filter my thoughts
like an answering machine.
i delete the negative,
dwell on the positive.

people may see me walking alone.
they don’t see the beautiful woman
at my side
with her hand in mine.

i may be seen sitting at a table, alone.
nobody sees the delicate hand,
with the magic fingers,
sliding up my thigh.

or, the passionate kiss
being planted on my throat,
the fingers running through my hair.

where i work
people see me smile.
they think I enjoy my job.
they don’t know me.

 

…

Sample my books for free — To date, $1945.00 has been donated to the homeless:

Gotta Find a Home: Conversations with Street People
http://buff.ly/1SGzGCY ($2.99 Download)
http://buff.ly/1qLHptc ($.299 Download)
https://buff.ly/2lUfp6Q ($.99 Download)
https://buff.ly/2Gkoyxj ($2.99 Download)
They Call Me Red:
https://buff.ly/2GJSDsG ($2.96 Download)
Podcasts:
http://buff.ly/1Pxlf9p
http://www.blunttalk.libsyn.com/
http://buff.ly/1XU368M
http://buff.ly/2iYvOE4
http://buff.ly/2jdjZd6

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desperation drive

26 Thursday Jul 2018

Posted by DennisCardiff in Song Lyrics

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

despair, destiny, dreams, lifetimes, loneliness, longing, lost love, nature, personal, philosophy, psychology

 

a015a738f9dec4461cb4effe9492b679

 

I’m just kicking stones, chasing loneliness — nothing much to do;
In my dusty hat and western boots — soles are worn clear through.
I’m leaving heartache, going nowhere fast, more dead than alive.
At daybreak, feet are pointing to, Desperation Drive.

When you’re down and out, in a hard luck place, no stars shine at night;
I’ve been looking down, such a long, long time, just can’t see the light.
Haven’t got a cent, haven’t got a friend, no will to survive;
That’s the reason why, I’m heading for, Desperation Drive.

There was a woman — vowed she loved me, caught the midnight train;
She took my money, left my broken heart, drowning in the rain.
Got to leave this town, have to hitch a ride, out on highway five;
If they ask me where, I’m going I’ll say to, Desperation Drive.

I miss that woman, she’s still in mind, the breeze whispers her name;
She’s mean and evil, but my lonely heart, wants her just the same.
On the waterfront, I check the bars and every lowdown dive;
If she’s not there, I’ll find a place on, Desperation Drive.

 

…

Sample my books for free — To date $1945.00 has been donated to the homeless:
Gotta Find a Home: Conversations with Street People
http://buff.ly/1SGzGCY ($.98 Download)
http://buff.ly/1qLHptc ($2.99 Download)
https://buff.ly/2lUfp6Q ($2.99 Download)
https://buff.ly/2Gkoyxj ($2.99 Download)
Podcasts: http://buff.ly/1Pxlf9p
http://www.blunttalk.libsyn.com/
http://buff.ly/1XU368M
http://buff.ly/2iYvOE4
http://buff.ly/2jdjZd6

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borderlands

24 Tuesday Jul 2018

Posted by DennisCardiff in Poetry

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Buddhism, Christianity, compassion, destiny, free, homeless, imagination, love, philosophy, psychology, romance

chair

i live in the borderlands,
between reality and imagination,
just this side of fantasy.

reality is okay.
i visit there
to check my mail,
earn a few dollars,
pay some bills,
buy groceries.

reality is an okay place to visit
but, i wouldn’t want to live there.

i’m happiest in my mind
where I filter my thoughts
like an answering machine.
i delete the negative,
dwell on the positive.

people may see me walking alone.
they don’t see the beautiful woman
at my side
with her hand in mine.

i may be seen sitting at a table, alone.
nobody sees the delicate hand,
with the magic fingers,
sliding up my thigh.

or, the passionate kiss
being planted on my throat,
the fingers running through my hair.

where i work
people see me smile.
they think I enjoy my job.
they don’t know me.

 

…

Sample my books for free — To date $1945.00 has been donated to the homeless:
Gotta Find a Home: Conversations with Street People
http://buff.ly/1SGzGCY ($.98 Download)
http://buff.ly/1qLHptc ($2.99 Download)
https://buff.ly/2lUfp6Q ($2.99 Download)
https://buff.ly/2Gkoyxj ($2.99 Download)
Podcasts: http://buff.ly/1Pxlf9p
http://www.blunttalk.libsyn.com/
http://buff.ly/1XU368M
http://buff.ly/2iYvOE4
http://buff.ly/2jdjZd6

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The Silver Fox

15 Sunday Jul 2018

Posted by DennisCardiff in Poetry

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Abuse, addiction, alcoholism, Buddhism, Christianity, compassion, homeless, mental health, psychology, Sociology, violence

fox

slouching
in forgotten tap-rooms
dirty old men,
forgotten old men,
slop piss colored beer
from, wet, dripping glasses.
the hollow din,
the retelling of the good old days,
echoes sadly
as life quickly passes.

“They used to call me ‘The Silver Fox’
What do you think of that?
They used to care.”

an empty glass crashes
to the muddy floor.

“I guess I’ll be hitting the streets tonight.
Sleep in an alley tonight.
Nobody cares.”

slouching
in forgotten tap-rooms
dirty old men,
forgotten old men,
slop piss colored beer.
nobody cares…

…

Image: http://buff.ly/1O5iabS
Sample my books for free — To date $1845.00 has been donated to the homeless:
Gotta Find a Home: Conversations with Street People
http://buff.ly/1SGzGCY ($.98 Download)
http://buff.ly/1qLHptc ($2.99 Download)
https://buff.ly/2lUfp6Q ($2.99 Download)
https://buff.ly/2Gkoyxj ($2.99 Download)
Podcasts: http://buff.ly/1Pxlf9p
http://www.blunttalk.libsyn.com/
http://buff.ly/1XU368M
http://buff.ly/2iYvOE4
http://buff.ly/2jdjZd6

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The Ghost

07 Saturday Oct 2017

Posted by DennisCardiff in Poetry

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

alcoholism, Buddhism, Christianity, compassion, empathy, homeless, mental health, personal, poverty, psychology, unconditional love

Little Jake approached me.
He knew that he knew me
but couldn’t remember my name.
I gave him a hug —
we’ve known each other
for seven years.

Jake, I said, “How are you?”
“Not good. I feel like
I’m walking in a fog.
I don’t know where I’m going…
Keep your money.
I don’t need anything.”

He drifted away
I was looking at a corpse.
He was still breathing,
but what I saw
was the ghost
of Little Jake.

…

Sample  my books for free — proceeds feed the homeless:
Gotta Find a Home: Conversations with Street People
http://buff.ly/1wyjiKS
http://buff.ly/1YlMlPX
http://buff.ly/2st8Mxr
Podcasts: http://buff.ly/1Pxlf9p
http://www.blunttalk.libsyn.com/
http://buff.ly/1XU368M
http://buff.ly/2iW6GxS

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beneath the cedars

01 Sunday Jan 2017

Posted by DennisCardiff in Poetry

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

Buddhism, Christianity, compassion, destiny, free, letting go, meditation, philosophy, psychology, spiritual, unconditional love, universe

 
cedars
  
i sit
beneath the cedars,
in solemn serenity.
face red
with asking questions,
seeking answers
to the ways
of life and death —
molecules and atoms —
and how we’re all
connected.

my fingers
stiff, from cold —
a child’s stubby crayons —
make difficult the task
of turning pages,
jotting notes
about impermanence,
attachment
and letting go.

i’m surrounded
by spirits of seasons past.
i fear not —
they mean no harm.
their faces radiate,
coming from the light.
in their eyes
i see peace and love —
they are free
of mortal suffering
they endured
in life.

they comfort me.
Grieve not, they say,
soon enough, you will join us.
you will experience the universe
and all it has to offer.
you still have much to learn.
when you are ready,
we’ll be waiting.

i feel the joy of life —
(maples sailing leaves
of red and yellow)
moments, lifetimes pass…
then they’re gone,
as they should be.

beneath the cedars,
in their realm of wisdom,
reverently
i sit.

…

Image: http://buff.ly/1O5iabS

Sample  my books for free — proceeds feed the homeless:
Gotta Find a Home: Conversations with Street People
http://buff.ly/1wyjiKS
http://buff.ly/1YlMlPX
Podcasts: http://buff.ly/1Pxlf9p
http://www.blunttalk.libsyn.com/
http://buff.ly/1XU368M

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The Silver Fox

29 Thursday Dec 2016

Posted by DennisCardiff in Poetry

≈ 3 Comments

Tags

Buddhism, Christianity, compassion, despair, desperation, homeless, kindness, longing, philosophy, psychology, unconditional love

   
fox
   
slouching
in forgotten tap-rooms
dirty old men,
forgotten old men,
slop piss colored beer
from, wet, dripping glasses.
the hollow din,
the retelling of the good old days,
echoes sadly
as life quickly passes.

“They used to call me ‘The Silver Fox’
What do you think of that?
They used to care.”

an empty glass crashes
to the muddy floor.

“I guess I’ll be hitting the street tonight.
Sleep in an alley tonight.
Nobody cares.”

slouching
in forgotten tap-rooms
dirty old men,
forgotten old men,
slop piss colored beer.
nobody cares…

…

Image: http://buff.ly/1O5iabS

Sample  my books for free — proceeds feed the homeless:
Gotta Find a Home: Conversations with Street People
http://buff.ly/1wyjiKS
http://buff.ly/1YlMlPX
Podcasts: http://buff.ly/1Pxlf9p
http://www.blunttalk.libsyn.com/
http://buff.ly/1XU368M

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borderlands

18 Sunday Dec 2016

Posted by DennisCardiff in Poetry

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

choice, desperation, destiny, empowerment, fantasy, forever, free, mystery, philosophy, psychology, Sociology

  
chair
  

i live in the borderlands,
between reality and imagination,
just this side of fantasy.

reality is okay.
i visit there
to check my mail,
earn a few dollars,
pay some bills,
buy groceries.

reality is an okay place to visit
but, i wouldn’t want to live there.

i’m happiest in my mind
where I filter my thoughts
like an answering machine.
i delete the negative,
dwell on the positive.

people may see me walking alone.
they don’t see the beautiful woman
at my side
with her hand in mine.

i may be seen sitting at a table, alone.
nobody sees the delicate hand,
with the magic fingers,
sliding up my thigh.

or, the passionate kiss
being planted on my throat,
the fingers running through my hair.

where i work
people see me smile.
they think I enjoy my job.
they don’t know me.

   

…

  
Image: http://buff.ly/1O5iabS

Sample  my books for free — proceeds feed the homeless:
Gotta Find a Home: Conversations with Street People
http://buff.ly/1wyjiKS
http://buff.ly/1YlMlPX
Podcasts: http://buff.ly/1Pxlf9p
http://www.blunttalk.libsyn.com/
http://buff.ly/1XU368M

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Street Justice

20 Monday Jun 2016

Posted by DennisCardiff in Poetry

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

Abuse, addiction, alcoholism, assault, Buddhism, Christianity, compassion, kindness, psychology, Sociology, violence

 

IMG_4797

I sit, in sadness,
holding hands with an injured friend;
her ribs broken and fractured,
her breathing painful and difficult,
her head aching and dizzy,
her face bruised
and scraped.

Another friend
is absent, in hiding; yet
he has no sanctuary,
there is no place he won’t be found.

At last, he had his life
in some semblance of order.
Two months sober;
he had an apartment, furniture;
his pride and self-worth had returned.
Then, he spent his rent check on booze —
starting with triple tequila shots
at a biker bar.
The universe
had given him a fresh start —
he threw it away.

Street justice will prevail;
sentence has been passed:
a bruise for a bruise,
a broken bone for a broken bone,
and something extra
so it won’t happen again.
Punishment will be exacted
with ruthless,
emotionless
efficiency.

 

…

Sample  my books for free — proceeds feed the homeless:
Gotta Find a Home: Conversations with Street People
http://buff.ly/1wyjiKS
http://buff.ly/1YlMlPX
Podcasts: http://buff.ly/1Pxlf9p
http://www.blunttalk.libsyn.com/
http://buff.ly/1XU368M
Image: http://buff.ly/1Pg96QC

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Serve with Love

14 Tuesday Jun 2016

Posted by DennisCardiff in Poetry

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Buddhism, Christianity, compassion, destiny, emotion, empathy, love, loving kindness, philosophy, psychology, unconditional love

To family and friends in Orlando
 

imgres-1

 

If we serve with Love

our decisions become easier.

Instead of asking, What would I like?

Ask, What can I do to help?

 

This isn’t my idea,

but, over the past few years

I’ve been applying it

in my daily life.

The result —

I’ve found my purpose.

 

…

Sample  my books for free — proceeds feed the homeless:
Gotta Find a Home: Conversations with Street People
http://buff.ly/1wyjiKS
http://buff.ly/1YlMlPX
Podcasts: http://buff.ly/1Pxlf9p
http://www.blunttalk.libsyn.com/
http://buff.ly/1XU368M
Image: http://buff.ly/1Pg96QC

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Lost Brave

23 Tuesday Feb 2016

Posted by DennisCardiff in Poetry

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

addiction, alcoholism, assistance, Buddhism, Christianity, compassion, homeless, kindness, poverty, psychology, Sociology

 

images

 

a lost brave
leans against a building
(tho he is unwelcome)
beside a busy walk.
everything he owns
fills a pack
upon his back

he is far
from his fishing boat,
an ocean teeming with fish,
from the majestic forest,
from his children,
his clan

his eyes reveal
a story of hurt and pain –
the uncertainty of the city.
a sidewalk for a bed,
charity of strangers
his only grace

a challenge
every day –
a new beginning.
beyond the fire
that tames his demons
the only plan that matters
is to survive

far from home
he can scarce remember.
a lost brave, fighting back tears,
pride in the knowledge
of his ancestry,
his place –
his blood

 

Buy my book for $0.99 — proceeds feed the homeless:
Gotta Find a Home; Conversations with Street People
http://buff.ly/1wyjiKS

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Street Angel

16 Tuesday Feb 2016

Posted by DennisCardiff in Poetry

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

addiction, alcoholism, Buddhism, Christianity, compassion, homeless, kindness, mental health, poverty, psychology, Sociology

 

da8d938f4e28aacdbcfa1d2004fa-500x333

I met a woman
who lives on the streets.
All her belongings
fit in her backpack.

She has sparkling blue eyes,
a smile that would light heaven itself.
She looked cold.
I asked her how long
she’d been on the streets.

She replied, “I don’t know….too long.”
She is forty-four,
but looks older.

She told me her story.
I won’t repeat it,
but, to give you
some idea,
recall your worst fears,
your worst nightmares
rolled into one.
That’s the way
her story starts,
it only gets worse
from there.

I brought her a sandwich
and a coffee.
She said, “God bless you.”
He did,
immediately.
A wave of joy spread
throughout my body
and stayed there
all day long.

I have been blessed
by an Angel.

 
 
 

Buy my book for $0.99 — proceeds feed the homeless:
Gotta Find a Home; Conversations with Street People
http://buff.ly/1wyjiKS

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Squirrels in Winter

21 Monday Dec 2015

Posted by DennisCardiff in Poetry

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

animals, Buddhism, Christianity, compassion, empathy, homeless, kindness, nature, psychology, Sociology, unconditional love

 

Occasionally,
Antonio
joins me for coffee.
He tells me
the most wondrous stories.
Sometimes,
I think he makes them up
for my benefit.
In any case
I am honored.

 

images

 

Have you ever worried
about squirrels in winter?
I see them climb over snowdrifts
with their bare paws —
they have no winter boots.

I see them stop
to tuck their tiny front paws
into their armpits
for warmth —
they have no mitts.

When it rains
I see them huddle
under trees,
they still get soaked —
they have no raincoats.

They have no pants,
no dresses, no hats,
no warm winter coats,
no shelter or fires
to warm their bodies.

Even the homeless men
whose beds are the sidewalk
have sleeping bags
to keep them warm.
Squirrels have nothing.

Still they remain cheery,
hopping about
gathering nuts,
Who knew
it was such a hard life
for squirrels in winter?

 
 

 

Buy my book for $0.99 — proceeds feed the homeless:
Gotta Find a Home; Conversations with Street People
http://buff.ly/1wyjiKS

 

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Dear Silver

08 Tuesday Dec 2015

Posted by DennisCardiff in Poetry

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

alcoholism, Buddhism, Christianity, compassion, homeless, illness, kindness, poverty, psychology, Sociology, unconditional love

 

john

 

Dear Silver,

I miss you
(your cap on the sidewalk)
panning in front of Starbucks.
Your regulars miss you too.
Out of respect,
nobody’s using your spot —
Joy sees to that.

Eventually,
someone from the family,
(someone you’d approve of,
maybe Little Jake)
will carry on
where you left off —
serving ‘good mornings’
with a side
of smiles.

I miss
our conversations,
seated on storage boxes —
you’d light a cigarette,
sip your beer.
We’d discuss friends,
adventures from your past,
the Chateau Lafayette.

Some of the guys
were too upset
to attend your funeral.
I know you were there
as the group congregated
at noon, with the snow falling.
Albert still cries
at the mention of your name.

Sometimes,
you’d sit alone on the curb
as Shaggy barked.
I’m not going up there,
you’d say,
that damn dog
is barking her head off.

At those times
we’d wonder what you were thinking —
just staring off into space.
That’s just Silver, zoning out,
somebody would say,
He does that,
sometimes.

 

Buy my book for $0.99 — proceeds feed the homeless:
Gotta Find a Home; Conversations with Street People
http://buff.ly/1wyjiKS

 

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The Happiest Guy Alive

06 Sunday Dec 2015

Posted by DennisCardiff in Poetry

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

Buddhism, Christianity, compassion, generosity, homeless, kindness, mental illness, poverty, psychology, Sociology, unconditional love

32191_0d49d789103c491f051909098fed72b6_99ef046f912a3a3cc1a807b5d969ac92

 

So, I’m panning
in my usual spot.
This suit walks by —
in passing he says,
“Get a job!”
“Hire me!” I say.
“Take a shower,” he says.
“I may sleep outside,
that doesn’t mean
I don’t wash —
I wash all over.”

“Hey,” I say,
“if you’re so successful,
why do you look
so unhappy?

“I’ve made the price
of my bottle.
I’ve got some smokes,
a little pot.

“Me, I’m the happiest guy alive.”

 
 

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My Name Is Hippo

03 Thursday Dec 2015

Posted by DennisCardiff in Poetry

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Buddhism, Christianity, compassion, homeless, illness, loving kindness, mental illness, poverty, psychology, Sociology, unconditional love

 

fatguy

 

My name is Hippo,
I’m an alcoholic.
Joy was the first
to call me Hippo.
My face swells
when I drink beer.
I guess, I look
like a Hippo.

Before that
they called me Farmboy.
I never lived on a farm,
but, I come from
a farming community.
I guess I looked
like a Farmboy.

Why do I drink?
Welfare asks me that
all the time —
I’m also homeless —
I don’t know why I drink.
I have bleeding ulcers;
I shit and puke blood.

I drink because
that’s who I am.
If I didn’t drink
I wouldn’t be me.
If I didn’t drink
I’d die…

 
 

 

Buy my book for $0.99 — proceeds feed the homeless:
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Betrayal

29 Sunday Nov 2015

Posted by DennisCardiff in Poetry

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

Buddhism, Christianity, despair, desperation, emotion, empathy, First Nations, homeless, loving kindness, psychology, Sociology

 

images-3

 

I look into your eyes,
grey with tears and sorrow
from the Arctic Ocean.

I feel your hurt deep inside,
hear your thunder,
see your rain.

With your fist at your chest
you open your heart,
tell me of hardship,
betrayal and pain.

I listen
with my heart
as one who has been there.

With my arm around your shoulder,
as a brother,
I urge you, to act with patience
and with love —
to be LOVE.

.

Note: Alphonse took his life, by hanging, 21 October 2015.

Buy my book for $0.99 — proceeds feed the homeless:
Gotta Find a Home; Conversations with Street People
http://buff.ly/1wyjiKS

 

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Welcoming the End

15 Thursday Oct 2015

Posted by DennisCardiff in Poetry

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

anger, death, depression, eternal, forever, free, frustration, loneliness, mental illness, psychology, rage

grave

 

Visions of my crumpled, lifeless body,
haunt my aimless footsteps.
Spectres from the grave welcome,
this life-weary traveler.

Tomorrow, that will not come, denies
upturned eyes, the soft rains of hope.
Flames of sorrow and rage sear,
this tortured soul.

Ragged hell-cries of desperation rip,
and pierce my mind.
No sound is uttered,
since there is no ear to listen.

Grief rises and swells,
like the limitless ocean,
swallowing this helpless, solitary victim,
in tides of comfortless tears.

Mother earth, take this flesh, these bones
to your rocky bosom.
Pull a cover of earth
over this last weary day.

 

This poem represents a very bleak period in my life. After expressing my feelings on paper I sought psychological and medical help. I am now pleased to report that suicidal feelings have been abandoned. Depression will always be with me; however medication allows me to live a healthy, even happy life.

 
 
 

Read about my friends here  http://buff.ly/1wyjiKS

 

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Lonely

23 Wednesday Sep 2015

Posted by DennisCardiff in Poetry

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

addiction, alcoholism, Buddhism, Christianity, compassion, despair, empathy, homeless, loving kindness, psychology, Sociology

Screen-Shot-2014-10-24-at-3.52.22-PM

 

I  wandered into Lonely
about a week ago.
I don’t know how I got here.
I don’t know where to go.

I’m not alone in Lonely
we gather all together.
I look into their empty eyes;
I see they’re lost forever.

We sit in understanding,
I hear about their sorrow.
Death looks from their teary eyes;
they’ll not be here tomorrow.

My heart unfolded to them.
They look on me as friend.
I give to all, the love I have;
offer comfort ’till the end.

 
 
 
Image: http://toddproa.org/blog/

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Let Me Sleep Until the Dawn

16 Wednesday Sep 2015

Posted by DennisCardiff in Poetry

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

fantasy, imagination, insomnia, longing, personal, philosophy, psychology, ruminate, sleep, thoughts

insomnia
 

Now I lie beneath the covers, worldly thoughts I try to smother,
sleep, a pleasure like no other, eyes feel heavy, a yawn comes on.
Pray to the Lord my soul to keep, plump my pillow and snuggle deep,
sigh and settle, welcome sleep. Sandman, show me somnolent scenes,
dream me drowsy, dozeable dreams, grant me glories to gaze upon;
let me sleep until the dawn.

It doesn’t seem too much to ask, nightly nap after daily tasks.
Let me sip from a soothing flask, no further need to labor on;
tomorrow is another day — to fight the fray, to harvest hay,
maybe to while the time away. Never mind the resolutions,
problems having no solutions, the curtains of the day are drawn;
I want to sleep until the dawn.

Now, I begin to feel a twitch, a muscle spasm, now an itch.
I really hate to whine and bitch, but this condition can’t go on.
Turn on the light, read my book, squint, give the clock a second look,
wonder how many pills I took. Covers rumpled, twisted, tangled,
I’m annoyed, nerves are jangled. Maybe, turn the radio on;
I need some sleep before the dawn.

Think I’ll go down and watch TV, something relaxing — history,
maybe drama or mystery, don’t want anything that’s too long,
don’t want to think or contemplate, would be nice just to vegetate,
if it’s too slow I’ll ruminate. Jay is always good for a laugh,
just in time for the second half. Shopping channel has got a con;
I can’t believe I’ve got this on.

Hush sleepy papa don’t you cry, sleep will come — by and by.
Sing me a soothing lullaby or sweet and lowdown, bluesy song.
In the wee hours of the morning, thoughts arrive without a warning,
evil thoughts like hornets swarming, spoken by a voice inside,
meant to weaken and deride — I’m not worthy to carry on.
No time for sleep — here comes the dawn.

…

I often have a problem with Insomnia. The above represents a fairly typical night for me. The form of this poem is loosely based on Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Raven” which is, I believe a Sapphic variant. The rhyming pattern is: aa/ab/cc/cd/db/b.

 

 

 
Image: http://ow.ly/Sj4wF

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Careful With That Axe, Eugene

15 Tuesday Sep 2015

Posted by DennisCardiff in Poetry

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

compassion, emotion, empathy, imagination, lyricist, music, philosophy, Pink Floyd, psychology, singer, songwriter

barrettyoung.jpg

 

Eugene had a mind of his own,
not, as some would say, a sound mind,
but his own mind, nevertheless.

“It’s awfully considerate of you
to think of me here.
And I’m most obliged to you
for making it clear
that I’m not here.”

Eugene was a great musician,
taking music to the limit;
his songs will always survive.
Eugene took drugs to the limit;
he’s now in Interstellar Overdrive.

When we observed him with an axe,
you may understand our concern.
Was he in danger, or were we?

Eugene had already left us in spirit,
but he wandered away that day
and was lost to us forever.

 

barrettold

This poem is dedicated to the memory of “Syd Barrett (born Roger Keith Barrett;
6 January 1946 – 7 July 2006) who was an English singer, songwriter, guitarist and artist. He is most remembered as a founding member of  band Pink Floyd, providing major musical and stylistic direction in their early work, although he left the group in 1968 amidst speculations of mental illness exacerbated by heavy drug use.”

Axe is also British slang for guitar. Pink Floyd’s use of the title Careful With That Axe, Eugene may refer to “Barrett’s behaviour (which) became increasingly unpredictable, partly as a consequence of frequent experimentation with psychedelic drugs such as LSD. Many report having seen him on stage with the group, strumming on one chord through the entire concert, or not playing at all. At a show at The Fillmore West in San Francisco, during a performance of “Interstellar Overdrive”, Barrett slowly detuned his guitar. The audience seemed to enjoy such antics, unaware of the rest of the band’s consternation.” (Source: Wikipedia)

.

Image: http://ow.ly/Sf9BP
Image: http://ow.ly/Sfagm

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Street Justice

23 Thursday Jul 2015

Posted by DennisCardiff in Poetry

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

Abuse, Buddhism, Christianity, compassion, empathy, homeless, kindness, psychology, Sociology, unconditional love, violence

IMG_4797

I sit, in sadness,
holding hands with an injured friend;
her ribs broken and fractured,
her breathing painful and difficult,
her head aching and dizzy,
her face bruised
and scraped.

Another friend
is absent, in hiding; yet
he has no sanctuary,
there is no place he won’t be found.

At last, he had his life
in some semblance of order.
Two months sober;
he had an apartment, furniture;
his pride and self-worth had returned.
Then, he spent his rent check on booze —
starting with triple tequila shots
at a biker bar.
The universe
had given him a fresh start —
he threw it away.

Street justice will prevail;
sentence has been passed:
a bruise for a bruise,
a broken bone for a broken bone,
and something extra
so it won’t happen again.
Punishment will be exacted
with ruthless,
emotionless
efficiency.
 
 
Read about my friends here  http://buff.ly/1wyjiKS

 

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Take My Hand

19 Sunday Jul 2015

Posted by DennisCardiff in Poetry

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

Buddhism, Christianity, compassion, desperation, empathy, homeless, humanity, kindness, loving kindness, psychology, Sociology

IMG_4797

 

There you are
an almost stranger.
Who am I to take your hand?
What I give is nearly nothing –
but the heart to hear
and understand.

You tell me
you’ve been beaten,
stabbed with a machete,
made some choices
now regretted.

Sparking
eyes of azure blue
show a spectrum of emotions,
happiness, frustration,
pain and sorrow,
but, always
love.

Arisen
from behind a dumpster,
to living in a clean, safe house,
your life in order,
independent —
a miracle.

Inspiring
to me, and to everyone
fortunate enough to know you.
I would like to introduce you
to a wider audience
so that they too
may take inspiration
and see the miracle
that is your love,
that is you.

Please,
in friendship,
take my hand.

 
 
Read about my friends here  http://buff.ly/1wyjiKS

.

 

 

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Acceptance

03 Friday Jul 2015

Posted by DennisCardiff in Poetry

≈ 26 Comments

Tags

Buddhism, Christianity, compassion, empathy, empowerment, kindness, mankind, philosophy, psychology, unconditional love, world

 

acceptance

in my nearly seven decades
on this earth
i know some things to be true.
if there is a key to life
it is ACCEPTANCE.
this is a goal that i aspire to,
i’m not always successful,
but with each slip
i affirm that i can do better;
i will do better.

i don’t have answers.
i don’t have solutions.
i don’t have resources.
what i offer is a safe haven
where YOU can come home.
i will ACCEPT you —
no questions asked,
no explanation expected,
nothing requested
in return.
i open my heart
to YOU.
 
 
Read about my friends here  http://buff.ly/1wyjiKS

.

 


 

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old age

18 Wednesday Feb 2015

Posted by DennisCardiff in Poetry

≈ 23 Comments

Tags

aging, death, feeble, health, inevitable, medical aid, memory loss, personal, philosophy, psychology, senior citizen, wrinkles

.

images

i’ve come to accept

that i’m old

i’m not 68 years young

i enjoy Senior Citizen benefits

discounts and meal portions

but i’m not a member of some Golden Age club

whose members spend their days

playing cards

or sitting in deck chairs

on a Florida beach

.

i’m not retired

that will only come

when i’m too feeble

(mentally and physical)

to be compensated

for anything worthwhile

my body

(skin, organs and joints)

is wearing out — nothing drastic

that medication won’t attenuate

inevitable

.

statistics indicate

that i can expect to see

twelve more years

hopefully, enough time

to organize and donate

that for which i want to be remembered

and erase from my hard drive

those incriminating words

i wish to take to my grave.

for whatever ensues

bring it on

i’m ready

.

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How It Began

15 Sunday Feb 2015

Posted by DennisCardiff in Prose

≈ 12 Comments

Tags

compassion, kindness, loving kindness, mankind, mental illness, poverty, psychology, social science, social work, unconditional love

.

GFAH final 2

 

Author: http://ow.ly/AD39S
Blogger: http://ow.ly/AD3t4
Facebook: http://ow.ly/AD2sG

2010

How It Began

My lungs ached, as frost hung in the bitterly cold December morning air, making breathing difficult. I trudged in the falling snow toward the building where I work, in one of the city’s grey, concrete, office tower canyons. I dodged other pedestrians, also trying to get to work on time, I noticed a woman seated cross-legged on the sidewalk with her back against a building wall. A snow-covered Buddha, wrapped in a sleeping bag, shivering in the below freezing temperature. I guessed her to be in her forties. Everything about her seemed round. She had the most angelic face, sparkling blue eyes and a beautiful smile. A cap was upturned in front of her. I thought, There but for the grace of God go I. Her smile and blue eyes haunted me all day.

In the past I’ve been unemployed, my wife and I were unable to pay our mortgage and other bills, we went through bankruptcy, lost our house, my truck. Being in my fifties, my prospects looked dim. It could have been me, on the sidewalk, in her place.

I was told not to give money to panhandlers because they’ll just spend it on booze. I thought to myself, What should I do, if anything? What would you do? I asked for advice from a friend who has worked with homeless people. She said, ‘The woman is probably hungry. Why don’t you ask her if she’d like a breakfast sandwich and maybe a coffee?’

That sounded reasonable, so the next day I asked, “Are you hungry? Would you like some breakfast, perhaps a coffee?”
“That would be nice,” she replied.

When I brought her a sandwich and coffee she said to me, “Thank you so much, sir. You’re so kind. Bless you.” I truly felt blessed.

This has become a morning routine for the past four years. The woman (I’ll call Joy) and I have become friends. Often I’ll sit with her on the sidewalk. We sometimes meet her companions in the park. They have become my closest friends. I think of them as angels. My life has become much richer for the experience.

.

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The Lost Boys

21 Monday Apr 2014

Posted by DennisCardiff in Poetry

≈ 66 Comments

Tags

disease, doctor, health, hospital, illness, loneliness, medical, nurse, personal, philosophy, psychology

.

.polio-6-lg

.

I was a young boy with a withered leg,
abandoned, in a cold hospital bed.
Faceless attendants wore gloves, masks and gowns.
No parents for cuddles, kisses or love.

Alone were the Lost Boys with polio,
the silent, unpredictable killer.
Quarantined, isolated like lepers,
our only strength came from one another.

Expected to die, we boys joined forces.
We supported each other, forming a bond.
After lights were turned out we would whisper
together, “Shush, the Sisters are coming.”

Older patients had access to wheelchairs.
Sometimes they’d transport me to other wards —
to meet other boys was high adventure.
An empty bed usually meant a death.

Six decades since, in the still of the night,
after lights are out, I can sometimes hear
that haunting refrain I heard as a child,
whispered, “Shush, the Sisters are coming.”

.

Note: Polio was one of the most dreaded childhood diseases of the 20th century. By 1910, much of the world experienced a dramatic increase in polio cases and frequent epidemics became regular events, primarily in cities during the summer months which left thousands of children and adults paralyzed. The first polio vaccine was developed in 1952 by Jonas Salk and announced to the world on April 12, 1955 – Source: Wikipedia.

Image: http://www.immunize.org/photos/polio-photos.asp

.

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Awakening

01 Saturday Feb 2014

Posted by DennisCardiff in Poetry

≈ 58 Comments

Tags

compassion, destiny, empathy, empowerment, free, kindness, mankind, philosophy, psychology, unconditional love, world

.
Nelson-Mandela

.

each morning, upon awakening
I’m offered the possibility to change —
to improve my life.

I can commit to helping others;
in general — try to be a better:
husband, father, worker, citizen.

This is the possibility;
my challenge is to follow through —
make today an example for life.

This is a small step. I realize
my influence is not far-reaching,
but, it is a first step.

If everyone takes that step — reaches out,
enriches the lives of  friends and contacts —
we can change the world.

As Nelson Mandela expressed:
the consciousness of one person can
bring about global change for the good.

One drop of kindness in the pool of
humanity will cause a ripple
which can generate into a wave.

A wave of hope, of caring, of love
of sharing is all that is needed
to solve the problems of this planet.

We can end oppression, starvation,
genocide and the ravages of
war and disease — one step at a time.

Each morning upon awakening
we can make the choice
to improve our world.

Let us take this opportunity
to be the change we wish to see in the world
we can be the difference.

.

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