desperation drive

Tags

despair, destiny, dreams, lifetimes, loneliness, longing, lost love, nature, personal, philosophy, psychology

 

 

I’m just kicking stones, chasing loneliness — nothing much to do;
In my dusty hat and western boots — soles are worn clear through.
I’m leaving heartache, going nowhere fast, more dead than alive.
At daybreak, feet are pointing to, Desperation Drive.

When you’re down and out, in a hard luck place, no stars shine at night;
I’ve been looking down, such a long, long time, just can’t see the light.
Haven’t got a cent, haven’t got a friend, no will to survive;
That’s the reason why, I’m heading for, Desperation Drive.

There was a woman — vowed she loved me, caught the midnight train;
She took my money, left my broken heart, drowning in the rain.
Got to leave this town, have to hitch a ride, out on highway five;
If they ask me where, I’m going I’ll say to, Desperation Drive.

I miss that woman, she’s still in mind, the breeze whispers her name;
She’s mean and evil, but my lonely heart, wants her just the same.
On the waterfront, I check the bars and every lowdown dive;
If she’s not there, I’ll find a place on, Desperation Drive.

 

…

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Prairie Crocus

Tags

Buddhism, Christianity, flowers, mystery, nature, personal, philosophy, spiritual

 

 

After the snow moves north
the prairie crocus,
native anemone,
ears of the earth
listens
for the rustle of summer.

Gently she sways
to moments of truth.
In her petals
the purple blue mist
of far distant mountains;
a small golden sun
close to her heart.

Eternity
folds close around her,
warms her
from the cold winds
of spring.

…

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Fireplace

Tags

dreams, emotion, eternal, fantasy, forever, lifetimes, longing, love, personal, romance, sighs

 

 

I’ll put a fresh log in the fireplace.
Will you pour us a glass of wine?
We’ll relax on overstuffed pillows,
smell the scent of burning pine.

Leave stress and hurry behind us.
It’s the time to let worries lie.
We’ll watch the constellations
appear in the darkening sky.

Magic, your eyes by the firelight.
Warm, your smile as you hold my hand.
Tell me your grandmother’s stories
of a nearby but distant land.

We communicate in silence,
My reflection is in your eyes.
Soft and gentle, your fingers.
Delightful, the sound of your sighs.

Stories of us to remember,
our stars melting gently above.
Never before have I felt such joy
as our presence together in love.

…

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Mourning Dove

Tags

compassion, death, despair, desperation, destiny, empathy, longing, love, nature, personal, romance

The silence of
the mourning dove,
more mournful
than her song.

She’s lost her mate,
her will to live,
yet time
still passes on.

Of days gone by,
she dreams her dreams,
when last she
heard him sing.

In widow’s weeds,
by empty nest,
a lonely dove
has lost her song.

…

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Borderlands

Tags

Buddhism, destiny, dreams, emotion, empathy, fantasy, mystery, personal, philosophy, romance, sighs

I live in the borderlands,
between reality and imagination,
just this side of fantasy.

Reality is okay.
I visit there
to check my mail,
earn a few dollars,
pay some bills,
buy groceries.

Reality is an okay place to visit
but, I wouldn’t want to live there.

I’m happiest in my mind
where I filter my thoughts
like an answering machine.
I delete the negative,
dwell on the positive.

People may see me walking alone.
They don’t see the beautiful woman,
with her hand in mine, beside me.

I may be seen sitting at a table, alone.
Nobody sees the delicate hand,
with the magic fingers,
sliding up my thigh.

Or, the passionate kiss
being planted on my throat,
the fingers running through my hair.

Where I work
people see me smile.
They think I enjoy my job.
They don’t know me.

…

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The Ghost

Tags

alcoholism, Buddhism, Christianity, compassion, empathy, homeless, mental health, personal, poverty, psychology, unconditional love

Little Jake approached me.
He knew that he knew me
but couldn’t remember my name.
I gave him a hug —
we’ve known each other
for seven years.

Jake, I said, “How are you?”
“Not good. I feel like
I’m walking in a fog.
I don’t know where I’m going…
Keep your money.
I don’t need anything.”

He drifted away
I was looking at a corpse.
He was still breathing,
but what I saw
was the ghost
of Little Jake.

…

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Melting Stars

Tags

longing, love, personal, romance, sighs

  

 

It was a soft October night —
quietly fell the snow,
flake by gentle flake —
making domes on fence posts,
on mailboxes,
tracing upturned branches
of waiting trees.

I know you heard me
on the porch
(you always do)
thought it was
a stirring of the breeze,
or moaning
of the boards

Drawn
to quiet times
knowing you are here,
I feel your peace
(alone)
and come to you.
You know I’m here,
can feel my warmth.

I see you smile.

Let us sit in silence.
Nestle
in my embrace.
Words
need not be spoken
as we watch the melting stars,
listen for the chorus
singing somewhere else.
This moment
all that matters —
quiet filled with you.

…

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Eyes of Love

Tags

compassion, empathy, fantasy, freedom, longing, loving kindness, mystery, peace, personal, romance, unconditional love

 

 

I know
I should be master
of my mind.
Too often
I become it’s slave,
allowing it to
take me places
I don’t want to go.

Some of these places
are recalled memories:
unhappy childhood,
failed relationships,
other unpleasant
incidents.

Other places
most pleasant
are imaginary,
perhaps,
a playful meeting
with dryads and sprites,
or an unexpected, late night visit
by a beautiful woman.

I know
that memories
are inaccuracies:
daydreams influenced
by pleasant wishful thinking
or, by the despair
of failure.

In any event,
the only reality
is what I see before me.
By seeing through
the eyes of Love
I can’t be led
astray.

 

…

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Once

Tags

despair, destiny, emotion, eternal, forever, lifetimes, lost love, mystery, personal, romance, sighs

 

 
what was once
is no more
even the memories
have faded into oblivion
stars may light the skies
and blooms of honeysuckle
drape the fence
but more than her perfume
was wasted that June
heart beats were counted
sighs and whispers
hang on the breeze

 

…

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Guess Who!

Tags

emotion, fantasy, imagination, longing, love, lust, mystery, personal, romance, sighs

 

 
I approached silently
from behind her chair.
My fingers gently covered her eyes.
“Guess who!”
I whispered.
“I can’t imagine!”
she coyly answered.
“Your tender fingers
are warm,
soft, unthreatening —
I’d like to get to know them better.”

“They’re all yours,”
I replied,
“here to do your bidding;
to explore your wildest fantasies.
Are you ready?”

I massaged her shoulders
tight with tension.
“Does that feel better?”
I asked.
“Yes,” she sighed
“please continue.”

I worked my way up her neck —
she moaned.
Gently down to her breasts
again she moaned.
“More, don’t stop…”

In her ear I murmured,
“Close your eyes,
I’m taking you
on an amazing
adventure.”

 

…

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Neptune’s Nymphs

Tags

compassion, destiny, dreams, emotion, eternal, forever, love, mermaid, mystery, personal, romance

 

 

I was walking by the seaside
in the moonlight so entrancing.
Upon the sparkling water
I saw the mermaids dancing.

They bid me frolic with them
as they danced upon the ocean.
Their bodies swayed seductively
in undulating motion.

Their song was so enchanting
syncopated with their laughter.
I wanted to dance with them
for now and ever after.

To leave my cares behind me
in search of Neptune’s daughter —
for with her I’d find freedom
in the seaweeds ‘neath the water.

 

…

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dropped from the sky

Tags

birds, compassion, emotion, empathy, empowerment, eternal, love, personal, romance, sadness

 

 

I enter the room,
see your form
cloaked in overwhelming sadness.
you stand on the balcony,
shoulders slumped,
looking out to sea.

a north breeze
ruffles your tresses.
a cool mist dampens your spirit,
causes you to shiver.
ominous clouds
roll towards shore.

as sunshine
I clothe you with comfort,
warm flannel like the shirt
I wrapped you in
one chilly night
upon the beach.

I cradle you
in loving arms
as my hands would nestle
an injured bird
vulnerable, defenceless
dropped
from the sky.

 

…

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Eating a Peach

Tags

kisses, longing, love, nature, personal, romance, sighs

 

 

naked she sat
cross legged on the floor
eating a peach

juice meandered
down her chin
to the hollow
at the base of her neck

I couldn’t resist
the taste of peach
the taste of her

south
the juices dripped
followed by my tongue
to the tastiest fruit
af all

…

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whisper

Tags

emotion, empathy, forever, free, love, mystery, nature, personal, romance, sighs, spiritual

 

 

our paddles  dip

silently into the black.

evening mist hovers

over the lake

as we glide near the shore.

otters playfully cruise nearby,

raccoons timidly drink,

deer watch

.

later

a camp fire

to ward off the chill

of the northern breeze.

time to cuddle close,

whisper secrets

even though

we’re alone

 

…

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happy place

Tags

birds, Buddhism, compassion, destiny, dreams, empathy, empowerment, forever, love, nature, nightingale, personal

 

 

on a log i sit

in my happy place

 inhale the fragrance…

wood smoke and cedar.

 

attend the aria

of the nightingale —

her longing,

each twitter and trill,

writes to my heart.

 

a bird on a branch

me on a log

forever

 

…

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Twin Flames

Tags

Buddhism, compassion, eternal, forever, lifetimes, loving kindness, mystery, personal, romance, spiritual, unconditional love

 

 

twin flames
independent
vibrations in harmony
across time and space
at opposite poles
of the earth

divine
masculine and feminine
entwined through
Absolute
Unconditional LOVE
with Gold of
Perfection

 

…

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Baggage

Tags

Buddhism, destiny, empowerment, eternal, free, loving kindness, personal

 

 

I’ll admit

that I’m a result

of all the decisions I’ve made in the past;

all the people who have influenced me,

in a positive or a negative way:

my loves, my breakups, my disappointments.

Without them, I wouldn’t be me

but, I don’t carry them on my back

they don’t define who I am now.

I create myself

from moment to moment;

otherwise,

what is the point of living?

The past is faded, imprecise memories —

people who are no longer what they seemed to be —

a view from a faulty lens.

I have baggage —

everyone does.

 

…

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tears

Tags

alcoholism, Buddhism, Christianity, compassion, death, emotion, empathy, loving kindness, mystery, personal, spiritual

 

 

i feel your tears,
my eyes burn.
a cloak of heaviness
descends upon my heart.

i have no words
to console you.
nothing I can write
will remove your sorrow.

I’ve experienced
the pain of loss,
and known the joyousness
that thoughts of love can bring.

i sit with you
in soft silence.
i hear anger in your despair.
i pray for your healing.

 
 

…

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Soon It Will Be Dark

Tags

death, despair, destiny, eternal, forever, free, longing, mystery, nature, personal, philosophy

 

 

i walked this path
when love was young
and buds about to spring —
colors bright, breezes soft
no want for anything.

there was a time
for boundless hope
and dreams of evermore.
now i wander aimlessly
my joints are getting sore.

where went this youth
these dreams and songs
that winged on words of love?
left with geese flocking south
chorus sounds above.

now the trail is sodden
with limp and trodden leaves;
gone the color and the spark.
trees and i are getting old
soon it will be dark.

…

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emerging

Tags

butterflies, destiny, eternal, free, kindness, lifetimes, love, mystery, nature, personal, philosophy

 

 

emerging
from the darkness
into the brightest light
shedding the burden of my chrysalis
uncovering, discovering
the me held deep inside
for so very long

unfolding
and inflating wings
for the very first time
seeing my colors like the skin
of a kite drying in the sun
gradually flexing limbs
feeling the breeze

I tremble
experience the lightness
an updraft lifts me from my rest
to float, flutter and fly
over the green expanse
of the meadow

a miracle
a new life before me
as wide and as clear as the sky
never to be constrained
or limited in vision
as I have been
in the past

 
 

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Night Birds

Tags

birds, destiny, eternal, lifetimes, love, lovers, mystery, nature, personal, romance, sighs

 

 

summer
sweet oceans
of silent surrender
cry with me
fly with me
birds of the night

soft is their serenade
lovely like lemonade
share with me
bare with me
into the light

high fly the night birds
coming to carry you
winging and singing
longing to life

 ever and never
and lifetimes together
tease with me
please with me
lasting the night

your soul
with my soul
was half
now is whole

 
 

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Spirit

Tags

eternal, forever, free, longing, love, mystery, nature, personal, romance, sighs, spirits

 

 

Sun shines through
a pickerel sky,
loons
rock on the water.

I feel a presence
by my side,
hear whispers
and some laughter.

I know that if
I turn my head
I’ll only see
the cedar.

My eyes I keep
on trails ahead
in hopes
that I might see her.

Spirit, you fill
my heart with love
yet, nowhere
can I see you.

A glimpse (perhaps),
or in my dreams.
I long so
just to touch you.

Your hand to take
within my own,
my lips
to brush your fingers.

Please grant to me
this simple wish.
I’ll remain
forever grateful.

 
 

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Lovers in Another Life

Tags

destiny, dreams, emotion, eternal, lifetimes, love, memory, mystery, personal, romance, sighs

 

 

Lovers
in another life,
(separated by circumstance).
I was your sun, you my moon.
We vowed to meet again
in this life or the next,
We often met in dreams
now, on mortal plane.

Softly,
my moccasins
tread the forest trail
(you promised you’d be waiting).
Behind an evergreen
I hear you giggle,
(rustled branches part)
then your face is seen.

Your feet are bare,
eyes, dark and smiling.
The light of love is blinding,
rivals the sun in warmth and hue.
Twisted in your auburn hair,
fragrant blossoms
dripping dew.

With cries of joy
I’m welcomed back,
your open arms embrace,
while silent fall my tears.
Natures symphony
in harmony —
music to our ears.

The heady scent,
your delicate breath
(blackberries)
falls gently to my whiskered cheek.
A soft, tender, gentle kiss.
Our tongues touch —
a moment
of timeless bliss.
 
 
 

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hand in hand

Tags

destiny, dreams, emotion, eternal, forever, love, nature, personal, romance, sighs, universe

 

 

we walk
hand in hand
beside wandering streams
towards the ancient caves
where we have gone
before in dreams.

the touch
of your delicate fingers
against mine is electrifying.
gently
I raise your hand
to my mouth,
sense the essence
that I have come to know.
take each finger
deep within,
taste the ecstasy
that is
your skin.

I hear
splashing sounds
of water spilling over rock
“Come,” I say, “Lay with me –
in love beneath the stars,
let’s live the dream –
the story
that is ours.”

 
 
 

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Steps of Stone

Tags

compassion, destiny, eternal, First Nations, lifetimes, love, mystery, personal, spiritual, unconditional love

 

“We planted you, we nurtured you, we protected you
until you became a mighty tree that spread through our
hunting grounds. With its branches you now lash us.”
– Mississauga Chief

Steps used by the Rideau Lakes Mississauga
Band of the Ojibwe or Anishinaabe Nation , for
traditional Sun Dance and other ceremonies.

…

I sit on ancient steps of stone
by myself, but not alone.
The presence of ten thousand souls
imbues me with their joys and goals.

The steps lead to a sacred place;
for Mississauga prayers and grace.
They danced to celebrate the sun
before the white man and the gun.

I seek what they sought; love and peace ~
for wars around the world to cease.
To live a life of nature’s plan
in harmony with fellow man.

In harmony with living things
and everything that nature brings.
I sit on ancient steps of stone
with souls to guide me on my own.

 
 

 

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Prufrock

Tags

compassion, despair, empathy, fantasy, fear, imagination, longing, mystery, personal, philosophy, universe

 
 

While pondering Prufrock, and his unanswered, “overwhelming question”
I consider my world of insecurities,
the fourth dimension,
the meaning of life, of afterlife, how high the sky, how deep the sea.
A lot of questions; but, most of all, is that woman looking at me?
And if so, why? Is it admiration? Perhaps my fly is undone.
Is she smiling or snickering? Are my clothes too tight? I’ve just begun. I like to think I’m individualistic, independent;
not a slave to the crowd. My clothes suit me – rather vintage, resplendant.
Or, am I a joke?
Is my style inappropriate, my hair too long?
The words float in space and, in my head, I hear the music to a song.
I’ll admit some insecurity; a lot of insecurity —
more learning, more questions. I like to think of that as maturity. I openly seek, and appreciate, the approval of my peers.
I know that contradicts;
but that’s the way I’ve become throughout the years.
It is impossible to say just what I mean!
It is the sum of who I am, what I’ve done and where I’ve been.
I’ve had much more than my share of restless nights
in one-night cheap hotels.
Unlike Eliot, I consider myself more of a new age seeker. Yes, I have heard the mermaids singing
and no, they do not sing to me.
I have become the watcher, putting in my time, dreaming of the sea.
Infinite waves, at times lapping at the beach,
or crashing on the shore.
Sometimes, I think that life should have more meaning,
that I could be much more.
I have accomplished what I could – “cat will mew,
and dog will have his day.”(1)
As always, the beautiful women smile, and chatter, and walk away.
…

 
 
(1)[1600-1 Shakespeare Hamlet v. i. 286]

Phrases in italics are quoted from The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock by T.S.Eliot, one of my favorite poems. What I like most are the daily observances, recollections, distractions, insecurities and the questions.

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Pileated Woodpecker

Tags

birds, Buddhism, Christianity, compassion, free, loving kindness, mystery, nature, personal, spiritual, universe

.

.

while sitting at a table,
enjoying afternoon tea,
in the shade of a cedar,
a Pileated Woodpecker
dropped from the sky
to land in front of us.

his red crest, jaunty,
black, military uniform
with white piping —
a Sargent Major
standing at attention,
inspecting us,
looking back at him.

he paused,
reflected,
saw all there was to see,
found us wanting
then, flapped away,
leaving an after image
of black, white and red
against the pines.

 

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To My Wife

Tags

Buddhism, Christianity, compassion, destiny, eternal, forever, kindness, lifetimes, love, personal, romance

 

 

How do I articulate our two and a half decades together?
How do I calculate the trust accumulating each day?
How do I enumerate the hugs that send me off and welcome me home?
How do I evaluate the warmth of your smile
and the treasure of your company?

The special things that give me ultimate enjoyment are
meals that you so lovingly prepare,
dreams and plans we create,
support we share in times of disappointment and tragedy,
enjoying nature, walks without speaking a word.

These are things that seem to defy pretty words and phrases.
No rhythm, rhyme, consonance or assonance could improve on these.
No amount of wealth, position or power could equal what we have.
More important is knowing you are here for me
with love in your heart.

 

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Memories

Tags

death, dreams, eternal, fantasy, homeless, lifetimes, longing, lost love, mystery, nature, personal

 

 
 
memories
are dark, disjointed
as a dream.
a thread of thought
weaves through them all
as does the lull
of lavender

 

faces, places
things we’ve done
each morphed into another.
Where is truth
or, was it ever here?
Perhaps, the longing
made it so

 

woodland walks
and moonlit talks
count my drum beats flow.
Lies that echo
through the woods.
Pictures in the fog
of long ago

 
 
 

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Frost

Tags

death, despair, destiny, emotion, eternal, forever, lost love, mystery, nature, personal, sighs

 

 

A dove sits on a snowy bough,
her song cuts to my heart.
We both know how the lonely feels
when love is torn apart.

There never was an emptiness
the way I feel inside.
The ache is deep within my chest,
I have no place to hide.

Was once a time my heart was full
when spring was in the air,
but Frost has draped me with his cloak,
my tears fall in despair.

The midnight train is leaving soon.
My bags are packed to go.
I shiver on the platform,
a spectre, feeling low.

 
 
 
 
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