desperation drive

Tags

despair, destiny, dreams, lifetimes, loneliness, longing, lost love, nature, personal, philosophy, psychology

 

 

I’m just kicking stones, chasing loneliness — nothing much to do;
In my dusty hat and western boots — soles are worn clear through.
I’m leaving heartache, going nowhere fast, more dead than alive.
At daybreak, feet are pointing to, Desperation Drive.

When you’re down and out, in a hard luck place, no stars shine at night;
I’ve been looking down, such a long, long time, just can’t see the light.
Haven’t got a cent, haven’t got a friend, no will to survive;
That’s the reason why, I’m heading for, Desperation Drive.

There was a woman — vowed she loved me, caught the midnight train;
She took my money, left my broken heart, drowning in the rain.
Got to leave this town, have to hitch a ride, out on highway five;
If they ask me where, I’m going I’ll say to, Desperation Drive.

I miss that woman, she’s still in mind, the breeze whispers her name;
She’s mean and evil, but my lonely heart, wants her just the same.
On the waterfront, I check the bars and every lowdown dive;
If she’s not there, I’ll find a place on, Desperation Drive.

 

…

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frost

Tags

abandonment, despair, desperation, emotion, emptiness, eternal, fear, forever, loneliness, longing, lost love

 

a dove sits on a snowy bough,
her song cuts through my heart.
we both know how the lonely feels
when love is torn apart.

there never was an emptiness
the way I feel inside.
the ache is deep within my chest,
i have no place to hide.

was once a time my heart was full
when spring was in the air,
but Frost has draped me with her cloak,
my tears fall in despair.

the midnight train is leaving soon.
my bags are packed to go.
i shiver on the platform bare,
a spectre, slinking low.

…

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Robert

Tags

alcoholism, blues, death, despair, dreams, guitar, loneliness, longing, lost love, music

 
An itinerant
entertainer
guitar on his back
ramblin’
from town to town
the devil by his side.
Performing
on street corners
in juke joints
roadhouses
lastly,
on August 13,1938,
at Shaples General Store,
Three Forks,
Mississippi.

Loner
philanderer
loved by the ladies
Robert was poisoned
with strychnine-laced whiskey
by a jealous husband
on the outskirts
of Baptist Town,
Greenwood,
Mississippi.

Buried in an
disputed grave
but, as Robert sang:
Baby, I don’t care
where you bury my body
when I’m dead and gone
You may bury my body, whoooo
Down by the highway side
So my old evil spirit
Can get a Greyhound bus
and ride.

Where
he is buried
isn’t important;
what is important
is the influence he’s had
on musicians
the world over.
Eric Clapton
claims, “he is
the most important blues singer
that ever lived.”
May he forever
rest in peace.

…

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cinnamon

Tags

dreams, fantasy, loneliness, longing, lost love, mystery, sighs

   

  

on tropic sands
gazing out to sea
wind ripples your hair
fabric molds to your shape

i see longing
unfulfillable
thirst
unquenchable

to my eyes a vision
of perfection
to my lips and tongue
sweetest confection

…

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frost

Tags

abandonment, despair, emotion, emptiness, eternal, fear, forever, loneliness, longing, lost love, worthless

  

 

a dove sits on a snowy bough,
her song cuts through my heart.
we both know how the lonely feels
when love is torn apart.

there never was an emptiness
the way I feel inside.
the ache is deep within my chest,
i have no place to hide.

was once a time my heart was full
when spring was in the air,
but Frost has draped me with her cloak,
my tears fall in despair.

the midnight train is leaving soon.
my bags are packed to go.
i shiver on the platform bare,
a spectre, slinking low.

 

…

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Disappeared

Tags

despair, desperation, destiny, dreams, eternal, fantasy, lifetimes, longing, lost love, universe, world

 

 

as the sun
played with the leaves
in the cool afternoon breeze
i heard your giggle
saw your smiling spirit face
peeking from behind
a clump of trees.

disappointed,
because i hadn’t
the freedom to follow you,
i sighed and waited for nightfall.
as the jealous moon
stole through my window
a devil in a flannel gown
visited my bed.

we snuggled
throughout the night.
my mouth nuzzled your neck.
your skin tasted
of our favorite perfume,
wood smoke and cedar.
i murmured words of love
as I held you tight.
you disappeared
with the dawn’s
early light.

 
…

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Once

Tags

despair, destiny, emotion, eternal, forever, lifetimes, lost love, mystery, personal, romance, sighs

 

 
what was once
is no more
even the memories
have faded into oblivion
stars may light the skies
and blooms of honeysuckle
drape the fence
but more than her perfume
was wasted that June
heart beats were counted
sighs and whispers
hang on the breeze

 

…

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Heartache, Old Friend

Tags

Buddhism, Christianity, death, despair, destiny, dreams, imagination, loneliness, longing, lost love, mystery

 

Heartache, old friend,
pull up a memory,
let’s sit by the fire,
drink a toast to the past.
Remind me of dreams
unfulfilled, unforgotten,
soul without substance
denied ’till the last.

She’ll blow me a kiss
as the train leaves the station;
twin silver rails
lead straight to the stars.
We’ll do a few orbits
buzz constellations,
perhaps a layover
at Venus or Mars.

Bring out the map
of trails untraveled,
of paths not pursued,
and deeds left undone.
The time’s growing short —
tomorrow comes early —
left the last sunset,
I’ve not yet begun.

 

 
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Memories

Tags

death, dreams, eternal, fantasy, homeless, lifetimes, longing, lost love, mystery, nature, personal

 

 
 
memories
are dark, disjointed
as a dream.
a thread of thought
weaves through them all
as does the lull
of lavender

 

faces, places
things we’ve done
each morphed into another.
Where is truth
or, was it ever here?
Perhaps, the longing
made it so

 

woodland walks
and moonlit talks
count my drum beats flow.
Lies that echo
through the woods.
Pictures in the fog
of long ago

 
 
 

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Frost

Tags

death, despair, destiny, emotion, eternal, forever, lost love, mystery, nature, personal, sighs

 

 

A dove sits on a snowy bough,
her song cuts to my heart.
We both know how the lonely feels
when love is torn apart.

There never was an emptiness
the way I feel inside.
The ache is deep within my chest,
I have no place to hide.

Was once a time my heart was full
when spring was in the air,
but Frost has draped me with his cloak,
my tears fall in despair.

The midnight train is leaving soon.
My bags are packed to go.
I shiver on the platform,
a spectre, feeling low.

 
 
 
 
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Whisper and Moan

Tags

compassion, despair, desperation, down and out, dreams, drunk, fear, haze, longing, lonliness, lost love

 

Troubled blues with feeling
may ease my tortured mind;
free me from the clutches
of those I left behind.

These dirty hobo rags
hang on a wasted frame,
haunted by the memory
and rhythm of your name.

Walking through this alley
shrouded, dark with death.
Evil deeds will haunt me,
until my final breath.

Craving me some whisky,
a friendly word and smile.
You can spend my money,
just stay a little while.

Whisky clouds my thinking.
Your face is just a blur……
Few more drinks together
I may think you are her.

Guitar strings, whining steel,
a whisper and a moan.
Use me and abuse me;
don’t leave me here alone.

 
 
 

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Wild Rose

Tags

forever, free, inspiration, longing, lost love, love, mystery, nature, personal, romance, sighs

 

 

Her sweet breath fell warm and soft
like a gentle prairie breeze
wafting the scent of wild rose,
delicate, but mostly wild.

Her mane, red and dangerous,
sometimes concealed then revealed
chameleon-like features,
an emotional rainbow.

Her full lips would pout or smile
like a sudden summer storm —
thunder, lightning then sunshine,
frighteningly beautiful.

Temperament like a mustang,
skittish, demanding patience,
or she would bolt for the wild.
Gentleness would subdue her.

For a while she could be held,
raging passion directed,
hunger could be satisfied
briefly, then she would be gone.

I would not hope to contain
or to harness the wildness.
For me she will always be
my sweet, delicate, wild rose.

 
 

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Heaven’s Daughter

Tags

compassion, death, despair, destiny, forever, free, lifetimes, longing, lost love, romance, sighs

 

 

Sitting near the water weeping,
lonely maiden in deep despair.
Whippoorwills are snugly sleeping.
Willow weeping, yet unaware.

Flowing gown of melancholia,
gentle goddess softly sobbing.
Moonlight mist and sweet magnolia,
tears like diamonds dripping, dropping.

In love’s embrace, friend and lover,
their cheating and their lies unveiled.
Double blow, she can’t recover;
her hopes and dreams at once curtailed.

Betrayed, dismayed, spirit shattered,
all is lost by cruel deception.
Without the one true love that mattered
death arose in her reflection.

Slowly walks into the water,
footprints soft upon the seashore.
Ripples radiate heaven’s daughter,
sorrow departs forever more.

Sitting near the water weeping,
her lover mourns in deep despair.
His true love forever sleeping;
his only thought to join her there.

 
 
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.

 

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Strangers (Once Again)

Tags

compassion, forever, kindness, longing, lost love, loving kindness, mystery, personal, philosophy, romance, sighs

 

 

 

i saw you
gazing at the frozen food.
i was reaching for a carton of eggs.
i thought you saw me.

i thought
perhaps, you’d turn
and smile
(i loved your smile).

i considered saying something
but, what could i say
that i hadn’t said
a thousand times before.

i remember
the first time I saw you
emerging naked from the sea,
water streaming from your hair —
Venus rising.

i was transfixed.
i am still transfixed.
our carts pass in the aisle
moving on to other places —
strangers
(once again).

 
 
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The Mourning Dove

Tags

Buddhism, compassion, death, despair, destiny, empathy, forever, longing, lost love, unconditional love, universe

 

 

 

 

The silence of
the mourning dove,
more mournful
than her song.

She’s lost her mate,
her will to live,
yet time
still passes on.

Of days gone by,
she dreams her dreams,
when last she
heard him sing.

In widow’s weeds,
by empty nest,
a lonely dove
has lost her song.

 .

 
 
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Desperation Drive

Tags

apathy, despair, desperation, destiny, dreams, fear, longing, lost love, mystery, romance, sighs

.

Just kicking stones, down a long dirt road — nothing much to do.
Got my Stetson and my ridin’ boots — soles are worn clear through.
Leaving heartache, going nowhere fast, more dead than alive.
At daybreak, feet are pointing to, Desperation Drive.

When you’re down and out, in a hard luck place, no stars shine at night;
I’ve been looking down, such a long, long time, just can’t see the light.
Haven’t got a cent, haven’t got a friend, no will to survive;
That’s the reason why, I’m heading for, Desperation Drive.

Venezuela vowed she loved me true, caught the midnight train;
She took my money, left my broken heart, lying in the rain.
Got to leave this place, got to hitch a ride, out on highway five;
If they ask me where, I’m going, I’ll say,  “Desperation Drive.”

I miss that woman, she’s on my mind, the breeze still sighs her name;
She’s mean and evil, but my lonely heart, loves her just the same.
On the waterfront I’ll check the bars and every lowdown dive;
If she’s not there, I’ll rent a place on, Desperation Drive.

.

Baggage

Tags

death, despair, destiny, dreams, emotion, fantasy, fear, imagination, lifetimes, loneliness, longing, lost love, memory

.

 

.

I’ll admit

that I’m a result

of all the decisions I’ve made in the past;

all the people who have influenced me,

in a positive or a negative way:

my loves, my breakups, my disappointments.

Without them, I wouldn’t be me

but, I don’t carry them on my back

they don’t define who I am now.

I create myself

from moment to moment;

otherwise,

what is the point of living?

The past is faded, imprecise memories —

people who are no longer what they seemed to be —

a view from a faulty lens.

I have baggage —

everyone does.

.

 

 

 

 

Thirteen Stones

Tags

compassion, destiny, dreams, empathy, eternal, forever, free, loneliness, longing, lost love, love

.

.

Are we lovers lost in loneliness

together in our loss?

Do we ache for who’s already gone,

or one who waits at home?

Will you ever fill that gaping hole

in a heart still out at sea?

Will stones viewed from your window

obscure your view of me?

Confide in me your heartache,

share your pain

with one whose heart you hold.

Let not the lost replace the living

love is  meant for giving.

‘too soon we’ll sing the  triumph song

one band united, all are free

one in hope and doctrine

one in charity’

.

The last four lines from Onward Christian Soldiers
written by Sabine Baring-Gould in 1865 

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refuge

Tags

abandoned, alone, despair, empowerment, fear, free, lifetimes, lost, lost love, love, refuge

.

.

lost my way
on rocky ground
no footprints
to be found

through the briar
to parts unknown
abandoned
and alone

changed direction
climbed a hill
saw your fire
burning still

lifetime gone
’till saw your spark
my refuge
from the dark

.

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Soon It Will Be Dark

Tags

blues, death, despair, desperation, emotion, loneliness, longing, lost love, mystery, nature, personal

.

.

i walked this path
when love was young
and buds about to spring —
colors bright, breezes soft
no want for anything.

there was a time
for boundless hope
and dreams of evermore.
now i wander aimlessly
my joints are getting sore.

where went this youth
these dreams and songs
that winged on words of love?
left with geese flocking south
chorus sounds above.

now the trail is sodden
with limp and trodden leaves;
gone the color and the spark.
trees and i are getting old
soon it will be dark.

.

Tears

Tags

compassion, despair, destiny, emotion, empathy, longing, lost love, love, loving kindness, spiritual, unconditional love

.

.

I feel your tears,
my eyes burn.
A cloak of heaviness
descends upon my heart.

I have no words
to console you.
Nothing I can write
will remove your sorrow.

I’ve experienced
the pain of love,
and known the joyousness
that thoughts of love can bring.

You guided me
into this world,
this pendulum, of emotion
that brings heartache and grief;

that also brings
jubilation,
a season of flowers and growth
that makes life worth living.

I sit with you
in soft silence.
I read your words of longing.
I pray for your healing.

.

Mourning Dove

Tags

bird, compassion, death, despair, desperation, destiny, dreams, emotion, empathy, eternal, forever, lifetimes, loneliness, longing, lost love, nature, philosophy, romance, unconditional love

 

 

.

The silence of the mourning dove,
more mournful than her song.
She’s lost her mate, her will to live,
yet time still crawls along.

Of days gone by, she dreams her dreams,
when she last heard his song.
In widow’s weeds, by empty nest,
in grief she’ll ever long.

I loved a someone, thought she loved me;
I wrote for her a song.
Now, it just brings, tears to my eyes.
The train keeps moving on.

In hobo camps along the way,
I’ve found where I belong.
Friends lost their way, their will to live,
their time will not be long.

.

Vibrations

Tags

compassion, death, destiny, dreams, emotion, empathy, empowerment, eternal, forever, free, lifetimes, longing, lost love, love, loving kindness, mankind, mystery, personal, philosophy, spiritual, unconditional love, universe

.

vibrations of amethyst,
lilac and lavender,
point the direction
my travels should aim
incense of frankincense
tears from north Africa
carry my prayers
upon smoke to the skies
guide me, my spirit
protect me from danger
let white light surround me
until I return

what will I find there
while flowing in ethers
away from my body,
away from my mind?
my soul floats forever
on moments eternal
to earth I am tethered —
as kite is by string

morning star, wishing star,
star guides the sailer,
comets are singing
celestial songs
the universe moving,
continual turmoil
while moon in Her glory
watches it all.

)0(

.

Banshee

Tags

Banshee, Crying, death, despair, desperation, destiny, emotion, eternal, fear, folk tales, forever, Grief Loss and Bereavement, imagination, Irish mythology, lifetimes, loss, lost love, mystery, sighs, spirit

In Irish legend, a banshee wails around a house where someone is about to die.

…

Brittle bones rattle and shake,
shadow me through the windy woods.
Shiver, quiver, quail and quake.
I’d forsake my worldly goods
if I thought they would suffice.
Keening cries of the banshee
penetrate like spears of ice.
Her cloak of gray, I cannot see —

Clammy presence proves she’s here.
From her curse I cannot flee;
I must face my deadly fear.
Death of kin hails the banshee.
Is it Mother, Father, Son?
On my neck her icy breath.
My sanctuary comes undone —
journey’s end will find a death.

Nearing home I hear the wailing,
sobbing, crying, clothes are rent.
Hair is pulled, arms are flailing —
heartbreak, tears are almost spent.
How to comfort, what to say?
Grieving knows no tomorrow.
How to live another day?
Stagger on, bear the sorrow.

Silent now, sits the banshee,
hooded, faceless, cloaked in gray,
spirit that we cannot see.
Pray her presence stays away.
More than that we cannot ask
as each footstep nears the grave,
toil at every weary task;
life is meant to spend not save.

Soon enough will come the time
when others wail, sob and cry.
Drums beat slowly, church bells chime;
it will be my time to die.
Hooded, faceless, cloaked in gray
the spirit wails right on cue,
as she will some future day —
when the banshee wails for you.

Prufrock

Tags

despair, desperation, destiny, dreams, emotion, empathy, eternal, fantasy, forever, imagination, insecurity, lifetimes, loneliness, longing, lost love, love, loving kindness, mystery, personal, romance, Shakespeare, T.S. Eliot

While pondering Prufrock, and his unanswered, “overwhelming question”
I consider my world of insecurities,
the fourth dimension,
the meaning of life, of afterlife, how high the sky, how deep the sea.
A lot of questions; but, most of all, is that woman looking at me?
And if so, why? Is it admiration? Perhaps my fly is undone.
Is she smiling or snickering? Are my clothes too tight? I’ve just begun. I like to think I’m individualistic, independent;
not a slave to the crowd. My clothes suit me – rather vintage, resplendant.
Or, am I a joke?
Is my style inappropriate, my hair too long?
The words float in space and, in my head, I hear the music to a song.
I’ll admit some insecurity; a lot of insecurity —
more learning, more questions. I like to think of that as maturity. I openly seek, and appreciate, the approval of my peers.
I know that contradicts;
but that’s the way I’ve become throughout the years.
It is impossible to say just what I mean!
It is the sum of who I am, what I’ve done and where I’ve been.
I’ve had much more than my share of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels.
Unlike Eliot, I consider myself more of a new age seeker. Yes, I have heard the mermaids singing
and no, they do not sing to me.
I have become the watcher, putting in my time, dreaming of the sea.
Infinite waves, at times lapping at the beach, or crashing on the shore.
Sometimes, I think that life should have more meaning, that I could be much more.
I have accomplished what I could – “cat will mew, and dog will have his day.”(1)
As always, the beautiful women smile, and chatter, and walk away.

…

(1)[1600-1 Shakespeare Hamlet v. i. 286]

Phrases in italics are quoted from The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock by T.S.Eliot, one of my favorite poems. What I like most are the daily observances, recollections, distractions, insecurities and the questions.

 

 

 

Melancholy

Tags

destiny, dreams, emotion, empathy, eternal, forever, free, imagination, lifetimes, loneliness, longing, loss, lost love, love, mystery, personal, philosophy, romance, unconditional love

Melancholy strains
of music we once shared
play on,
renewing the emptiness
that gnaws within.

Relentlessly,
the record spins
and the wine,
with its delicate bouquet,
only deepens my sadness.

Your sparkling eyes
and your smile
blaze in my memory
like the summer sun
we once shared.

Now, my sun is gone
and I am left
with only the music
and the memory….
The wine is turning bitter.

Blues Man

Tags

blues, despair, dreams, emotion, empathy, guitar strings, loneliness, longing, lost love, mojo, mystery, personal, philosophy, sighs, slide guitar

Steel slides seducing strings
blues man plucks and picks.
Winding down, my mood descends —
craving a few more licks.

Your melodies transport me.
Rasping voice tears my pain.
Feel you deep inside my gut —
Just play it once again.

Blues man with your mojo hand,
Spirit of the Voodoo Chile,
Enchant and entrance me —
Suspend me here a while.

I weep with your sadness.
My heart strains with your grief.
Your blood, sweat, tears and soul —
revelation of belief.

Mystic, mojo master
You read my troubled mind.
Notes create a picture
to which I had been blind.

 

.

Timid Eyes

Tags

destiny, emotion, free, imagination, lost love, mystery, personal, romance, sighs, unconditional love

 

 

timid eyes

from the forest

beckon, yet hold back,

wanting to love,

afraid to trust.

 

lithe body,

like a deer,

ready to spring

at the first sign

of danger.

 

delicate features

worthy of infinite contemplation,

question,

ready to color

at the slightest provocation.

i want to coax her

from the forest,

show her

there is nothing to fear;

yet,  I know there is.

 

so, from a distance

i watch

the timid gentle creature.

all I can give her

Is freedom.

 

 
 

Read about my friends here  http://buff.ly/1wyjiKS

.

 

Memories

Tags

compassion, dreams, emotion, fantasy, forever, loneliness, lost love, mystery, personal, romance

Christine Falls, Mount Rainier National Park (Photo credit: kern.justin)

.

memories
are dark, disjointed
as a dream
a thread of thought
weaves through them all
as does the scent
of prairie rose

faces, places
things we’ve done
each morphed into another
where is truth
or, was it ever here?
perhaps the longing
made it so

woodland walks
and moonlit talks
that made my heart beat so
words that echo
in my mind
pictures in the fog
of no return

.

Coffee

Tags

dreams, fantasy, loneliness, lost love, love, lust, romance

I sit on a stool
at Woolworth’s lunch counter
staring into the swirls of my steaming coffee
served in a Buffalo China cup and saucer
edged with double green stripes
(I had no interest
in my coffee)

Sitting
two stools down
is a young woman
with dark hair and doe eyes.
Her presence — electric.
She parts her ripe cherry lips
as she looks up from her book
and glances at the clock.

(Same as yesterday.)

Five minutes left
before she leaves
for work.

She stretches
in her tight
white sweater
as she slides her arms
into the satin lined sleeves
of her coat
previously draped
over the stool back.

She gazes
in my general direction
with no sign of encouragement.
I should be more assertive —
My coffee is cold —
Maybe tomorrow…