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Dennis Cardiff

~ Poems & Prose

Dennis Cardiff

Tag Archives: depression

I’ve Always Wondered

16 Friday Oct 2015

Posted by DennisCardiff in Poetry

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

alone, death, depression, despair, desperation, suicide

gun3
 

I’ve always wondered
what my 62 year old grandfather
was thinking
that Friday
at 1:30 in the afternoon,
when he decided to leave his office
in the courthouse,
where he was County Court Clerk,
to drive out of town,
park on a by-road,
walk to a nearby bush,
pull out his handgun
and shoot himself
through the head.

I’ve always wondered……why?

Perhaps,
one day
he’ll tell me.

 

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Welcoming the End

15 Thursday Oct 2015

Posted by DennisCardiff in Poetry

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

anger, death, depression, eternal, forever, free, frustration, loneliness, mental illness, psychology, rage

grave

 

Visions of my crumpled, lifeless body,
haunt my aimless footsteps.
Spectres from the grave welcome,
this life-weary traveler.

Tomorrow, that will not come, denies
upturned eyes, the soft rains of hope.
Flames of sorrow and rage sear,
this tortured soul.

Ragged hell-cries of desperation rip,
and pierce my mind.
No sound is uttered,
since there is no ear to listen.

Grief rises and swells,
like the limitless ocean,
swallowing this helpless, solitary victim,
in tides of comfortless tears.

Mother earth, take this flesh, these bones
to your rocky bosom.
Pull a cover of earth
over this last weary day.

 

This poem represents a very bleak period in my life. After expressing my feelings on paper I sought psychological and medical help. I am now pleased to report that suicidal feelings have been abandoned. Depression will always be with me; however medication allows me to live a healthy, even happy life.

 
 
 

Read about my friends here  http://buff.ly/1wyjiKS

 

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Welcoming the End

21 Saturday Sep 2013

Posted by DennisCardiff in Poetry

≈ 26 Comments

Tags

bipolar, Buddhism, depression, love, obsessive compulsive, personal, philosophy, psychiatry, psychology, suicide, therapy

.

83f6f78e11dc673de3125e7ed13b0ea4

.

Visions of my crumpled, lifeless body
haunt my aimless footsteps.
Spectres from the grave welcome
this life-weary traveler.

Tomorrow, that will not come, denies
upturned eyes, the soft rains of hope.
Flames of sorrow and rage sear
this tortured soul.

Ragged hell-cries of desperation rip
and pierce my mind.
No sound is uttered,
since there is no ear to listen.

Grief rises and swells
like the limitless ocean,
swallowing this helpless, solitary victim
in tides of comfortless tears.

Mother earth, take this flesh, these bones
to your rocky bosom;
pull a cover of earth
over this last weary day.


.


This poem represents a very bleak period in my life.  After expressing my feelings on paper, I sought psychological and medical help.  I am now pleased to report that suicidal feelings have been left behind.  Bipolar, obsessive compulsive and paranoid personality disorders will always be with me; however medication and meditation allows me to live an intermittently happy life.

.

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